範例 一般/冗長:“I hit the ball so hard it went over the fence.” 出色/簡潔:“I smashed the ball over the fence.” 動詞「hit(擊)」僅是描述動作的動詞,並無提供關於擊球力度的上下文資訊,因此自然會添加「so hard (用力)」或其他副詞描述一般動詞,提供額外的資訊。將動詞完全更改為更生動的詞(例如:「smashed(砸)」)可以提供所需的上下文。如此一來,在11個單字中,就縮減了四個字!
範例 填充字: “ I found myself actually surprised about how much I learned” 無填充字: “I was surprised at how much I learned” 「actually」一詞毫無用處,你必須明確陳述你感到驚訝。此外,「finding yourself」是一種對話式的填充字,聽起來很不專業。
範例 介系詞片語太多: “I struggled to work in a team in order to get a good grade in the group project” 減少介系詞片語:“I struggled with the team aspect of the group project” 無需陳述你在團隊中做事,也無需提及成績,此外,這些介系詞片語會增加句子的長度,這將不利於符合文章的字數要求。
範例 修飾語太多: “Although my high school grades were sometimes slightly less than average, I was able to outperform many of my classmates, who often struggled to improve.” 更強而有力的動詞和形容詞:“Although my high school grades were inconsistent, I later outperformed my classmates, who struggled to improve.” 你可以看到修改後的版本儘管承認了自己較差的分數,卻顯得更加實在、一致甚至自信。
範例 過多敘述:“I will start by discussing my leadership experiences…” or “The next important part of my academic background was my….” 精簡敘述:“I gained leadership experience when…” or “One of my academic achievements was…”